Many years ago a young Midwestern lawyer suffered such deep depression that his friends thought it wise to keep all knives and razors from him. During this time he wrote, “I am now the most miserable man living. Whether I shall ever be better, I cannot tell. I awfully forebode I shall not.” He was wrong. He did recover and went up to become one of America’s most-loved presidents, Abraham Lincoln.
You may have never experienced serious depression, a depression some describe as deep, dark and paralyzing. Many know exactly what I’m talking about.
A child offered this story:
I’m a child who suffers from depression (and have a lot of friends who are too), and so wish that someone would reach out. Yes, you may not be able to get rid of it, but sometimes it really helps for a child to know your parent loves you, cares for you and supports you, instead of leaving you alone to your own devices to try and figure it out alone. It’s not ever a “choice” to be happy for us. Depression/anxiety is so much more complicated than that. If I could, I would choose to be happy, but… alas, I cannot. I make choices daily to try and be happy, but they seldom work. Sometimes just knowing someone understands we are feeling pain for no reason, cannot control our emotions sometimes, sometimes cry for absolutely no reason at all, feel afraid of things when it makes no sense, etc. can really help to sooth the frustration and pain. Just be there for your daughter regardless, and try to be understanding that it’s not a choice we make, it’s something so deep and complex that often, yes we can read a thousand books about it to try and understand and yet, it still is nonsensical. A cure would be wonderful, but for now, love, support, and understanding are crucial for anyone suffering with Depression and/or Anxiety.
Melisa Bernards wrote a poem about her depression. She says about the poem: “This poem is about the smile we let the world see while inside we are dying a little every day.”
Behind The Mask
© Melisa Bernards
Published on February 2015
Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain
Hiding the tears that fall like rain.
Saying I’m fine, when I’m anything but.
This ache in my soul rips at my gut.
My skin is on fire, I burn from within.
The calm on my face is an ongoing sin.
The world must stay out, I’ve built up a wall.
My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall.
Loneliness consumes me, it eats away the years
Until my life is swallowed by unending fears.
Waiting for someone to see I wear a mask
And care enough to remove it, is that too much to ask?
There is no magic formula to bring healing to those who struggle with anxiety and depression. There is no quick fix. But there is a Person who can bring healing for the pain, joy in the sorrow and give you a peace that surpasses all understanding. His name is Jesus!
What does the Bible say about anxiety or depression?
The Bible never uses the words “depressed or depression” but uses words like “anxiety, discouraged, losing heart, being weary, downcast, sad, forlorn, downhearted, mourning, troubled, miserable, despairing and brokenhearted” to describe that emotion that many struggle with today.
To be weary means, to become tired in spirit; discouraged. Jesus said:
Come to me, all who are weary and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28).
Paul told the Christians in Galatia, “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).
“Fainthearted” or “to lose heart means, fainting in your souls; to give up.
“Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted lose heart” (Hebrews 12:3).
When a person becomes discouraged, weary or when they lose heart, they run the risk of losing hope. Once hope is lost, they see no avenue for help. They don’t believe they can be helped and they don’t have the desire or energy to seek help. This hopelessness can lead to despair.
Important Signs of Anxiety, Discouragement, Depression
Emotional:
Sadness, restlessness, hopelessness, impatience, irritability, anger, unnecessary self-criticism, feelings of inferiority, feeling of guilt (true or false), unexplained mood swings
Physical:
Loss of energy, unexplained weight loss, unexplained physical complaints such as continuing headaches
Changes in eating patterns, including eating more or loss of appetite
Changes in sleeping patterns, including excessive sleep or insomnia
Mental:
Apathy (loss of motivation), difficulty making simple decisions or fulfilling responsibilities
Changes in behavior, such as increased daydreaming or fantasizing
Thoughts, words, plans, or acts that are suicidal
Possible Causes of Discouragement
There are many causes of discouragement or depression, some biological and some spiritual in nature.
It could be caused by:
Chemical imbalance
Hormone imbalance
Physical injury
Medication reaction
A physician should be contacted to have these issues and others checked out.
Some discouragement may come from life situations . . . external stimuli . . . things we are going through in life. There are those who believe all problems are physical and should be handled with medication. Others believe all problems are spiritual and medication should NEVER be used. I don’t believe either position is all right or all wrong. The truth is that there are issues that are biological/physical in nature and there are those problems that are spiritual in nature and it is not always easy to discern the cause of a problem.
Let’s start with some simple causes that need to be addressed:
1. Lack of adequate rest
2. Lack of proper diet
3. Excessive Stress
We find Jesus was in this state of distress prior to being arrested and crucified.
“And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and began to be grieved and distressed.
Then He said to them, “My soul is deeply grieved, to the point of death; remain here and keep watch with Me” (Matthew 26″37-38).
4. Suffering
“. . . For it is inevitable that stumbling blocks come” (Matthew 18:7).
We don’t have to be controlled by our circumstances!
Physical: a handicap, a long-standing or debilitating illness (including ongoing severe pain), or a terminal illness.
Emotional: a serious illness or death of a loved one, marital problems, work-related stress or losses, problems in the lives of one’s children.
5. Anger
Mishandled Anger: repressed (“stuffed”) resentment or anger out of control
6. Guilt
True Guilt: a refusal to make things right with God and/or others.
False Guilt: an unwillingness to trust God’s promise of forgiveness (1 John 1:9) or the result of false accusations by others or one’s own conscience.
7. Feeling Sorry for Oneself Because of Circumstances
Jonah was commanded to go to Nineveh to preach repentance, he ran the opposite way (Tarshish) for he HATED those in Nineveh, they were enemies of Israel. After God’s supernatural intervention in Jonah’s life, He did preach to the people of Nineveh, they repented of their sins and God “relented concerning the calamity which He had declared He would bring upon them.” But it displease Jonah and he became angry and said, “O LORD, please take my life from me, for death is better to me than life.”
8. Disobedience to God’s Revealed Will
King David experienced tremendous distress and physical trauma as a result of his sin.
Psalm 32:1–5 (NASB95)
1How blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered!
2How blessed is the man to whom the LORD does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit!
3When I kept silent about my sin, my body wasted away Through my groaning all day long.
4For day and night Your hand was heavy upon me; My vitality was drained away as with the fever heat of summer. Selah.
5I acknowledged my sin to You, And my iniquity I did not hide; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD”; And You forgave the guilt of my sin. Selah.
9. Personal Expectations of Others or God That Are Not Realized
Proverbs 13:12 (NASB95)
12Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But desire fulfilled is a tree of life.
10. Fear of What Might Happen
Matthew 6:34 (NASB95)
34″So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
11. Loneliness
Some people tend to be loners because of circumstances in their childhood development. For example, growing up with an unaffectionate or overly critical parent may make one shy away from intimacy with others. People with low self-esteem often withdraw from social situations they believe will lead to rejection. There are also many social factors that contribute to loneliness. Loneliness can result from “situational factors,” circumstances in life that increase the possibility of isolation. People who are unmarried, divorced or widowed are more likely to encounter loneliness simply because they are more likely to be alone. However, loneliness can also occur when a marriage relationship doesn’t produce the closeness we expect.
We are told in Proverbs that “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.”
Luke 12:22–26 (ESV)
22And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on.
23For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing.
24Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds!
25And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
26If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?
In other words, what does being anxious do that helps you?
There are those that struggle with anxiety and panic attacks every day, worrying that they may be suffering from a dangerous disease or at risk for many dangers.
But what does worrying about the disease do to cure it?
Five hundred years ago, Michel de Montaigne said: “My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened.”
Now there’s a study that proves it. It turns out that 85 percent of what subjects worried about never happened. Anxiety does nothing to improve one’s lifespan, both in longevity and in quality. God is not angry about our depression, He acts as a loving Father. He is our hope in the midst of depression.
One of the greatest causes of anxiety and depression is fear.
Deuteronomy 31:8 (ESV)
8It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
Hebrews 13:6 (ESV)
6So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”
In many ways anxiety shows that the person has not yet been able to put full trust in God
Psalm 27:1 (ESV)
1The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
Isaiah 41:10 (ESV)
10fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
This verse sheds light on two things we must understand to overcome anxiety associated with fear.
Fear not, for I am with you (who’s with us?)
be not dismayed, for I am your God (who is our God?)
The God who created the universe?
The God who delivered Israel by parting the Red Sea?
The God who protected Daniel?
The God who used Gideon (a farmer) to save Israel out of the hands of the Midianites with 300 men?
The God who raised Jesus from the dead?
Shall I go on?
I have two questions for you to ask yourself.
1st question: “Who is in control?”
Who’s in control of everything that happens? What problem do you have that is BIGGER than God. We have to settle in our minds, once and for all, “Who is in control?” Is it fate or happenstance that governs our lives? Is God sovereign over all things or is He not? Is there anything that happens that He is not aware of or cannot change? Does God have a plan for your life?
Can anything thwart God’s plan for your life?
Isaiah 14:27 (ESV)
27For the LORD of hosts has purposed, and who will annul it? His hand is stretched out, and who will turn it back?
The nation of Israel was in the middle of 70 years of captivity when God told Jeremiah to tell them about His plans for them. The people were scattered, away from their homeland; they’d lost everything they knew and loved, and circumstances were totally against them. Yet, God had a plan for them . . . plans for welfare and not for evil, to give them a future and a hope.
Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)
11For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
The Bible tells us, “that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39).
When Paul penned the verses from the Holy Spirit in Romans, Christians were being killed for their faith, thrown to the lions, crucified, burned, imprisoned.
Sometimes there seems no rhyme or reason for the pain and suffering we experience.
But what we need to remember at those times, perhaps more than at any other, is that nothing we have to deal with — changes, disrupts or thwarts God’s plans for us.
Nothing we go through means that we’ve been separated from His love, means that He has abandoned us, means that we’ve been forsaken or that God isn’t still in control.
God is in control!
God is sovereign!
2nd Question: Can God be sovereign if He isn’t omnipotent?
The sovereignty of God means that He has total control of all things past, present and future.
Nothing happens that is out of His knowledge and control. He is the only absolute and omnipotent ruler of the universe and is sovereign in creation, providence and redemption.
To be sovereign . . . God has to be “omnipotent.” God could not be in total control of all things if He was not “omnipotent/all powerful.” Throughout the entire Bible God is shown as sovereign and omnipotent. Jesus displayed his power in the calming of the sea. Do you remember the account when you were in Sunday School.
Mark 4:35–41 (ESV)
35On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.”
36And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him.
37And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.
38But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”
39And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
40He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”
41And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?”
So we have established that God is in control . . . sovereign over all of your life. There is nothing that can happen in your life that He is not powerful enough to change. Why should that be a comfort for us?
Because God loves us!
1 Peter 5:7 (ESV)
7casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
Psalm 55:22 (ESV)
22Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Philippians 4:6–7 (ESV)
6do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
7And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
How will by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving letting our requests be made known to God give us peace which surpasses all understanding? It is because we have a sovereign, omnipotent, loving God and a high priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses, one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
And we are told in:
Hebrews 4:16 (ESV)
16Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
It is in God whom we must put our trust. For there is no other whom we can trust.
Let me close with scripture that gives hope to those seeking a shelter.
Psalm 9:9–10 (ESV)
9The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.
10And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.
Psalm 20:6–7 (ESV)
6Now I know that the LORD saves his anointed; he will answer him from his holy heaven with the saving might of his right hand.
7Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.
Psalm 55:22 (ESV)
22Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)
5Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.